Friday, February 25

Hold On

I admit that I am the WORLD'S WORST at getting discouraged and down in the dumps. I can't help it. I can be in the best mood then something can happen and I feel like I've fallen flat on my face. I'm sure my emotions are exhausting for those around me the most to keep up with. Well as we are rounding the last week and a half or so until 'P-day' kicking us off into month 9 of TTC I have been fussy and crabby and snippy to say the least. I honestly feel way worst for my husband than I ever could myself. Bless him, he puts up with my moods and keeps on keeping on. The same way I can so quickly fall, something can happen and I can bounce right back up. Like today, I have 9 sessions to finish, package, and mail all before March 4th so I can put all of my concentration and energy into the wedding I'm shooting on March 5th. I am overwhelmed and completely unmotivated. Then my husband gets home from school. He gives the dogs a bath, gets me outside and we take a walk around the block with the boys, he gets me some lunch, then brings me home to settle in for a long night of editing while he is currently cleaning and mopping every inch of our house. Wow. If that's not love, I really don't know what is. Of course, I'm still crabby and trying to hermit myself as work and while listening to Pandora our song comes on. The song we had our first dance to at our wedding, and a song I can't help but cry at every single time I hear it, and finally I feel a break in my sadness. My husband is my rock. He is my foundation. He is sturdy and though I am shaken he never lets me go.
Yes, I will start this month, probably late. Just late enough to get my hopes up. Yes I will be crushed. Yes I will cry. Yes I will be mad and bitter. But I will pick myself and push forward, knowing, even without a positive pregnancy test, even with my dream that much farther away, that I will keep listening to our song realizing we truly are the lucky ones.

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones?
I guess that we were once
Babe, we were once
But luck will leave you cause
It is a faithless friend
And in the end when life has got you down
You've got someone here that you can wrap your arms around

So hold on to me tight
Hold on to me tonight
We are stronger here together
Than we could ever be alone
So hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go

There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart
But it's no one's fault
No it's not my fault

Maybe all the plans we made would not work out
But I have no doubt even though it's hard to see
I've got faith in us and I believe in you and me


So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause it's you and me together
And baby all we've got is time
So hold on to me, hold on to me tonight

There's so many dreams that we have given up
Take a look at all we've got
And with this kind of love
What we've got here is enough

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause we are stronger here together
Then we could ever be alone
Just hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go
Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright
Hold on to me tonight
They always say we were the lucky ones