Lucky I'm in love

with my best friend. My very very best friend.

I've been saying this a lot recently, and I wish I could have told myself a year ago that this would happen, but I am honestly 100% the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. Baby drama or no baby drama there is not a thing I would change. Wow. I've never been able to say that before. Ever. I feel so at peace, and it is because of the amazing husband I have who supports me 110% in EVERYTHING that I do, the wonderful family I have that shows me more love than I ever knew was possible, and my friends who really, I can't give words to. They are so great. They don't only pick me up when I fall, they drag me forward with my life. This past year has been a world wind. I've felt more ups and downs in one short time that I'm surprised I don't have whiplash. I was a different person a year ago. I was depressed, tired, overwhelmed and just ready to give up on everything and everyone. And I did. And I was miserable. Randy and I split up for 3 months and I learned a lot about myself in that time. I was stronger than I knew, but I was also more cruel and hateful of a person than I'd ever realized I could be. Wow. I never thought of myself as a bad person, but I was. Then on June 10th, on our 5 year anniversary, Randy got down on one knee and gave me the proposal I've always dreamed of, and my life has be completely changed ever since. Not because I nabbed a man, but because I realized, no matter what, I would and will always have someone standing by my side whether I deserve it or not. That day I found a hope that has carried me through every high and every low I've had in the last 7 months. And a month later I became Mrs. Johnson, which I am convinced is the person I was always meant to be. Who I was born to be. I am better for knowing him, but I found me the day I became his wife.

We have had some amazing days this past week. Friday night we went and saw Black Swan and went out for drinks afterwards. Man, that was fun. I don't know how many people can say their husband really is the person they'd choose over everyone else to hang out with, but seriously, my favorite thing in the world is to hang out with my husband. Black Swan was amazing. Very much directed towards a specific audience, but we loved it. I was a wreck the whole time. That movie just made you feel uncomfortable and nervous and on the edge of your seat the whole time. I'd be lying to you if I said I could tell you what happened and what didn't at the end of the movie. It was trippy but man was it inspiring. Applebees was fabulous as well. Let me just say, I don't drink. Ever. I'm not sure why, but it's just not me. The last time I really had a drink was back in May the day before my wedding was suppose to be. Well, Friday I told Ran I'd like to go out and just get a couple of drinks and unwind from the week. I'm all about doing things on a budget and at AB's after 9 appetizers are half price and they have drink specials. Heck yeah! I had a pomegranate long island iced tea, a lemon drop, and boneless wings. I was feeling mighty nice! Long story short, I love dating my husband because he really is my best friend. We have so much more fun together than a married couple should. He makes me laugh, he gets my jokes, and he just flat out makes me happy. He's up there on my top 10 of greatest people ever, right under Oprah and Martha Stewart. ;) I honestly have no greater wish for my friends or my kids than to marry someone who makes you laugh, someone that really is your best friend. Someone that you can have fun with but will also pick you up and carry you when you are at your lowest. Someone who will let you know you are NEVER gonna be alone. I can only hope everyone else gets as lucky as me.

'There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad & focus on the good. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE. Getting back up is LIVING!'

Jaby Jaby Jaby OHH!

So I think I'm ovulating this week but I'm not 100% sure. Yep, that's the first time in 7 months I haven't been able to tell you the exact dates I'm most fertile. I haven't peed on any sticks, I haven't imputed any dates in a calender, I don't even remember the last day of my last period. Randy and I aren't trying anymore and I can't tell you what a relief it is to say that.I feel better than I have in a while. I'm at peace with it. I always said, I don't want a holiday baby. That being said, if it happened of course I would be over joyed, but if I can plan around it, I'd like to. Most people who know me know this about me, but I suffer from seasonal bipolar disorder. It's not bad at all compared to most but my husband can tell you, winter me is a completely different person from spring me. Winter me is at my worst, and I want my baby to meet me for the first time at by best. Randy is also back in full swing with nursing school, I'm in full swing with OlivePhotos and with my newest little project, hence the stall on the baby making. We are just trying to make the best choices for our little family, and I feel really good about it. We may pick up on the tracking thing in April or May, but we'll see how this goes for us first. I'm just tired of the stress and the anger and the bitterness and the disappointment.

Randy and I were talking last night about my new found sense of peace. I realized, there is a reason we aren't pregnant. A big one. It's because this world isn't ready for our baby yet. We've been through so much and tried so hard for this baby, I know it is destined for great things. Our baby is going to change the world. I don't know how, or why, or when but it's going to happen. And when it is the perfect time to set all the of the events into motion, we will have our Alice or our Oliver. When we have that baby there will be no other baby in the world as loved or appreciated and there will never be a day that goes by that I don't let them know that. Nothing that I do or don't do is going to change the date we get pregnant. That's predetermined. But when if finally happens we will be the happiest couple of goofy kids in the world.

'If you only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed

So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road'

Wallpaper, Nurseries, and crafty frames

Well, I've been snowed in at my inlaws for a week now (okay the snow melted 3 or 4 days ago and we have free food and no cleaning here), and HGtv and DIY Network are constantly on in this house, so while I'm away from home I'm thinking of all the great things I want to do with my house when I get back! I have a project I've been working on for a while that desperately needs to be finished so I'm thinking a Tackle it Tuesday for it is in order. More on that later. I suppose a part of blogging is getting to stalk other bloggers blogs and the blogs they stalk. :) Well today I found the cutest house blog I've ever seen and this post blew my world! It's all about wallpapering your ceiling! Gasp! That's exactly the solution to the awful spray bubble ick that is my ceiling! While scrolling across the beautiful photos I was stopped dead in my tracks by this photo.

OMG!

Now I've been planning Baby Alice's nursery for oh.... 2 years now? lol An Alice in Wonderland garden party has been in the works. Complete with teapots and framed prints from the original books. Now this photo through me for a loop! Now let me take a moment to let you know my latest obsession. The color grey. It has taken over my house. My kitchen, dining room, and hallway are all painted with a beautiful muted grey. My bedroom is about to go grey and I have grey accents in my bathrom. Along with the grey obession has come and equally strong obession with a beautiful bright sunny mustard yellow and foggy light blues. I see this nursery and I am floored. Yellow! Stripes! Birdhouses! AND A GREY TRIM on custom tailored bedding. SIGH! While I figure out how to work yellow stripes into Alice's wonderland garden I'm also going to figure out a way to wallpaper my ugly ceiling! I will keep you updated. Well that was my share of the day. While I'm at it I want to brag on a friend of mine.

I told you a little about the Pay it Forward Giveaway in a past post, well today I got a sneak peek at what I got from one of the ones I commented on, and it's sparked a business adventure for one of my dear friends Brittany. I can't wait to show you what she's doing! For our giveaway she made super cute picture frames and that is blossoming into so much more for her!

This is the frame she made that will be coming to decorate the Johnsons' living room bookshelf!

Isn't it fantastic!? I'll be sure to keep you updated as she adds more to her inventory! Bijoux Boutique (which means cute little shop in French AW!) will hopefully be at a craft show in April and I will be there cheering Britt on and helping her sell these adoreable frames and more! She has my crafty brain racing! I went to Hobby Lobby and went up and down each isle to decide on my next project to put in the works. Can't wait to see what I dream up tonight!

Girl Talk

So last night I had a huge revelation. I love to talk on the phone. Of course this is nothing new, I've always been a talker and there is rarely a phone not attached to my body somewhere, but somewhere along the way forgot how great it is just to have a phone conversation for no reason. Most of my phone calls take place when I have to ask someone a question or find out about a date and time and they last 10 minutes max. Last night I got to talk to one of my girlfriends, Brittany, and man was it nice. It's always nice to have conversations with someone in the same boat as you, or in the same place in their life as you are. I dare say I will never take for granted the simple joy of a 57 minute long phone call about nothing and everything, ever again.

Okay, so I'm gonna try to make a daily goal today. I've got 3 sessions I'm currently working on, and 3 others to burn. Unfortunately I can' t burn anything while I'm still at Teresa and Alvin's. But my goal today is to finish 2 of my 3 sessions and to work a Zumba in there as well. Let's see how that goes.

Blueberry Cream Muffin Recipe

My Mother in Law made these for breakfast this morning and they were wonderful! They aren't too sweet, which I love, so if you like a sweeter muffin, you may want to add another 1/2 of sugar, or replace 1 cup of the white sugar with 1 cup of light brown sugar. These were light, fluffy, and mild using the blueberries to carry the flavor. Let me know if you try them, what you think ,and what you would change in the comment section!

Blueberry Cream Muffins

4 eggs

2 cups white sugar

1 cup vegetable oil

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 cups sour cream

2 cups blueberries

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease 24 muffin cups or line with paper muffin liners.

In large bowl beat eggs, gradually add sugar while beating. Continue beating while slowly pouring in oil. Stir in vanilla. In a separate bowl, stir together flour, salt and baking soda.

Stir dry ingredients into egg mixture alternately with sour cream. Gently fold in blueberries. Scoop batter into prepared muffin cups.

Bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes.

Cabin Fever

Well, here we are in 2011. Randy and I celebrated our first 6 months of marriage this past Monday. Well, I say we celebrated, but we actually didn't do anything at all. lol We are currently iced in at my in laws house. Notice I said, iced, not snowed. Yep our giant snow storm has become nothing but ice. Roads have been closed for 3 days now. They opened yesterday and today from noon until 4. I must stay I'm going a bit stir crazy. I do not deal well with being cooped up. I have gotten some Zumba in, so that's great, I need to get back on it today. Teresa made some fantastic homemade hot coco on Monday when we got out of the snow. I'll post a recipe when I get it. I loved going out and getting some photographs in the snow though. I still haven't bothered throwing on any makeup and getting any of Randy and I but I'll make sure I do before it all melts away.



I'm having a bit of a hard time with the whole baby subject. This was the first month I had no doubt in my mind that we were not pregnant. I knew we weren't. Everything was on time, and I was at peace. Then it seems like everyone and their mom either had a baby or announced they were pregnant, and I'm not going to lie, it hurts. Like hell. It's not that I'm not happy for them, I am SO happy for them, but it breaks my heart that it's not me. I hate to feel so jealous but it's hard not to. I feel like I just need to step away from it. I know it may hurt those around me, but I honestly have to give myself time to cope with the situation. That sounds dramatic, and yes it may be, but I'd rather keep my distance than to be bitter, jealous, or mean. Those things just aren't me, but I can feel those emotions inside and that is just something I have to smother. While we are trying I don't want any extra stress and I'm putting it on myself. I have days when I feel like such a failure. Like for some reason I can't do the one thing women were put on this Earth by nature to do. That is a hard pill to swallow. There are only so many times you can hear "It will happen when it's meant to happen" or "When God says it's time, then it's time." or "If you just don't think about it, it will happen." or "You should just enjoy your husband while you can. Babies make life too hard." before you just start tuning everyone out. Yes, when it happens, obviously that is when the powers that be have decided that I am worthy to be a mom. And I enjoy the time I have with my husband every day, but we aren't like most people. We didn't date a few months, get engaged then get married a year after that. We've been together nearly 6 years. We are ready for this next step. We are ready to make our family complete. I will not enjoy my husband any less, or love him any less. Our lives will be different, but oh so much more rewarding. I'm just so ready for it to be my turn. So ready to feel my baby move, to hold them. I'm not having a pity party. Far from it. I want to look back on this blog a year from now and know that I was completely honest with my feelings. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I'm not going to lie to myself any longer. I can be sad. And that's okay. And one day it will be my turn. And that's okay too.

Biscuits and Butter aka Spreading the love!

Being iced in this weekend, I did a couple of things I'm super proud of! I made my first homemade from scratch skillet biscuits! I had such a blast doing them! They needed to be cooked a little longer and I found them to be a bit bitter but everyone else LOVED them!


Old Fashioned Southern Biscuits

2 to 2 1/2 cups sifted self-rising flour
1/2 cup lard (or shortening)
1 cup buttermilk
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Lightly grease a baking sheet or iron skillet. Put the flour into a large mixing bowl. Make a well in the center. Add lard and buttermilk. Start working the flour into the milk and lard, squeezing the mixture through the fingers until a soft dough is formed. This will be a sticky dough. Lift the dough from the bowl and place on a well-floured surface. Sprinkle a little flour on top of the dough and start folding, gently kneading and turning the dough until it is no longer sticky. Pat or roll the dough to a thickness of about 1/2 inch. Cut with a 2-inch cutter. Place on baking sheet or in skillet. Bake for 8 minutes or until lightly browned. Yield 8 to 10 biscuits.
Note: Instead of cutting the biscuits, many Southern bakers prefer to pinch off portions of dough, making balls about 1 1/2 inch in diameter. These balls of dough are placed in the skillet and pressed gently with the knuckles to flatten slightly.

I'll be making another recipe today and I'll let you guys know how that goes.


Even more cool, I made BUTTER! Yes, I said it. I actually MADE butter. I was amazed. And it is SO good. Like, I could have eaten it all by myself with nothing else good. I highly recommend everyone to give it a shot. I really do believe once in every woman's life they should have the feeling of "Holy #$&$*#^, I made butter!" I used the instructions found here

I posted this message on my FB status the other day:
PAY IT FORWARD 2011: I promise something handmade to the FIRST 5 people who leave a comment here. However, to be eligible, YOU must repost this status, offering something handmade to 5 other people. The rules are that it must be handmade by YOU and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011. Ready, set, GO!

and last night I decided each of my five people will get a jar of homemade butter with a recipe for biscuits attached. I think I'll make each person a different kind based on what I think they'll like. I have Tara (Honey Butter), Brittany (Garlic and Herb butter), Stephanie (Coco Butter), Ashley (Chili Butter), and Rebecca (sweet cream butter). I think it's something that not only they can enjoy now, but they can keep the recipe and hopefully always think of me when they look at it!

I'm working on more butter this after noon as soon as Randy gets home with the cream. So excited to try some new kinds!

Our 2011 New Years resolutions

Lauryn:

1. Continue to grow my business, whatever that might mean, where ever that may go. I get so frustrated and stressed out with my photography, but honestly there is nothing else I would rather be doing. I need to get more organized in my process and set up an area when I'm burning my CDs and labeling my mailers. I also need to make it a goal to have set office hours where I sit down and do nothing but edit. I get so far behind because I have the hardest time just sitting down to work.

2. Get my finances in order and begin to pay down my debts. I need to learn better spending habits. I'm getting a little better, but this is something Randy and I have to be on the same page with. I also have to stop pretending debts will go away if I don't answer the calls or pay the bills. :/

3. Make a choice to follow a cleaning schedule for our house so that we can maintain it. I hate cleaning alone. If I had someone sitting on my couch everyday who would talk to me while I cleaned I'd be fine, but I don't and I need to do it on my own. I found a great day by day schedule here That's the one I'm going to try to follow. I like the different chore for each day so when I'm done with that chore I'm done for the day!

4. Make one large purchase goal at a time and put back the money for that goal until we can pay for it in cash up front, then make a new goal. I made this goal for things like counter tops for our house and things like that, but currently I need a new laptop for work and a new camera would be more that amazing. ;)

5. Learn to cook. I mean really cook. And make at least 3 meals a week. Healthy planned meals. I need to get on this. If it weren't such a pain to clean I'd do this more often! I am getting better about learning new basic things I can switch up and make my own though!

6. Coupon coupon coupon!!!! Plan meals around my our weekly sales ads! Save that money! I've started a couponing group on Facebook, and actually next week we are holding our first coupoing class. There is also I site I've been told about called where you pick your food plan and they give you a grocery list based on the sales in your area. Um.... GENIUS!

7. Don't forget to take time out for me. Put down the editing, turn off the TV and Computer, do something just for me. I get so stressed and so overwhelmed far too easily. Sometimes I need to just make myself step back and zen.

8. Back off Facebook. I spend WAY too much time on here. Enough said.

9. Learn to sew and knit. #10's adorable wardrobe will depend on it. Kelly is giving me her sewing machine and I want to start making lots of cute little clothes that won't be like everyone else. And I'd like something I could bond with my Mom over.

10. Have our beautiful Alice or Oliver. 2011 will be the year of baby Johnson! I'm keeping the faith that this will be the year. We've been trying for 7 months now and its getting harder and harder but I know the day I hold our precious miracle the wait will be worth it. Hopefully this blog will be a place to track our pregnancy soon. :)


I was only going post 10. A good round number and a good goal number, but this one couldn't be left out.

#11. Be a better wife. Support my husband and never take him for granted. Know how lucky I truly am to have him. Stand behind him, especially during nursing school time. I love him more than anything, never let a day go by that he is not told that.


Randy: