I joined adoption.com last night. I made the mistake of looking through the listings of children up for adoption in our state, and I fell in love with a brother sister sibling set, ages 6 and 7. Everything about them seemed like perfection for us. I wish we had the money to do a traditional adoption, but I'm happy with the path that we've chosen. Foster care will open a lot of doors for us as far as leading us to the right children. I trust that they will come to us. We will find them.
I was on a friend's blog today and a song started playing that really touched my heart and reminded me of my Birdie(s). Normally I turn off music when I go to a website, and I actually went to click to pause it, but something told me just to listen. I'm so glad I did.
Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curly cues
Your contagious smile
And as i watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight
Knowing clouds will rage in
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms
Story books are full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies
Knowing clouds will rage in
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms
Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you
Clouds will rage in
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms
Saturday, January 28
Thursday, January 26
Fears
I have a wonderful husband. A supremely supportive husband. A husband who's number one goal is to always make me happy. I am so lucky. But I am also so fearful. Fostering is such a big commitment. One I know I am ready and beyond willing to make, but I worry Randy only wants to make me happy. He says he's so excited, and the rational part of me says to believe him and take it for face value, but the worrier in me says I'm asking too much. I was made to be a mother, I know this for a fact, but that doesn't mean I should force my husband into sacrifice to make it happen. He's already given up so much. So much work and sweat has been poured into this house trying to get it ready. So many sleepless nights listening to me cry myself to sleep over negative test beyond negative test. So much money trying to make everything perfect. So many hardships still to face once this is over and we're finally licensed and a child is placed with us, and then taken away. I know it will be worth it to him in the end, and whatever child comes to us will be the luckiest in the world to count his as a father figure. I only hope he doesn't resent me now for it. Of course I'll never know if he does. He would never want to disappoint me or make me sad. This is my dream and he's following me into it. I hope he's as excited as he says he is. I need to stop borrowing troubles. That's just what's on my mind tonight.
Wednesday, January 25
Monday, January 23
First Class
So we made it through our first foster class. We came home with oodles of paperwork and a bit of homework for next week, but more importantly, knowing even more this is what we are meant to do. We talked about assessing our own strengths and needs so we can then more easily be able to find the strengths and needs of the children we encounter. Notice I said needs, not weaknesses. Weaknesses can't be changed, needs can always be met. I think that is a very positive way of looking at things. We talked about how each action is linked to a feeling and that it's important that we try to understand what that feeling is and where it's coming from before we choose how to handle the action. Another thing they started us out on right away is the fact that as foster parents we have to remember and keep telling ourselves, this child will go home. I have them for now, but they will go home. Until the judge bangs the gavel terminating parental rights (TPR) and the option of adoption comes open, that child will be going home. That is the goal of foster care, to keep families together. That is something I'm sure I will have to remind myself every day, with every child. They will be going home. Randy and I are also reassessing our age range we will be willing to accept. I am most comfortable with small children, but he would like to branch out into older kids. I told him I'm willing to go to 6 years old. I feel like anything over that will be a little overwhelming for me. We are also taking in the possibility of siblings. Currently we've decided we would like a maximum of 2 children at a time for now. All in all I was very pleased with today's experience and I think Randy was as well. We have a great big notebook to bring back every week with our course material in it. Very official. I love stuff like that. You print out a bunch of stuff and stick it in an organized binder and I'm happy as a clam.
Ever since we started trying for a baby going on 20 months ago, it's always seemed like an unattainable goal. One that was frustrating and hurtful. Since we've started the foster care process I have felt such a peace about it all. A feeling of a greater plan, if you will. I truly do feel like this is where we are meant to be in this season of our life. In this part in our life's journey. I'm blessed to have a strong supportive husband sitting next to me in it all.
Next week we are talking about the foster/adoption experience and what to expect. So looking forward to it! :)
Ever since we started trying for a baby going on 20 months ago, it's always seemed like an unattainable goal. One that was frustrating and hurtful. Since we've started the foster care process I have felt such a peace about it all. A feeling of a greater plan, if you will. I truly do feel like this is where we are meant to be in this season of our life. In this part in our life's journey. I'm blessed to have a strong supportive husband sitting next to me in it all.
Next week we are talking about the foster/adoption experience and what to expect. So looking forward to it! :)
Sunday, January 15
Letter to my Birdie
Dear Birdie,
Home Sweet Home. At least that is what I want to make this for you as long as you'll have us and they will let us have you. I promise I will do my very best to never let you go one minute of one day without knowing how loved you are, how special you are, how deserving you are of a good life. You've been through more in your short time, Baby Bird, than most will go through in their entire lives, and that's okay, because that will make you strong. It will make you appreciate life, and you will be better for it, because people like your FD and others like us will make sure of it. We will make sure you know how lucky you are, how precious life is, and how to be a good person and make the most of it. You will have to be patient with me, Birdie, because you see, I've never been a mommy before, but that doesn't mean I won't do my very best while I have you. I will make your life as easy and wonderful as I can, because you deserve it. You deserve peace and happiness and joy and you will have those things.
I can't wait for you to meet your 'family' here! You will know so many new and neat people and they will all love you and help take care of you too. You will meet Gamma Ward and Gigi and Poppa Johnson. They are very excited to get to know you as well. You will also meet lots of new friends who are like family to us as well. They can be odd, but they are fun and they will think the world of you.
I don't know you yet, Bird, but I know you are out there, and you are waiting for us just as we are waiting for you. I am praying for you. I am praying for your safety, your health, your family. I don't know what will bring you to us, but we will get through it together. I don't know how many of you there will be or how long we will have each one of you, but we will never forget every situation is different, and that you are special and we will treat you as such. We will do our best not to make assumptions because of things we've heard or because of those that may come before you. We will take each day as it comes. Good or bad. We will take each situation one at a time. We will do what is best for you to the best of our ability. We don't know how long you will be with us, be it weeks or years, but never the less you will be apart of our family and you will always have us to lean on.
I'm looking forward to meeting you, my sweet Birdie!
Home Sweet Home. At least that is what I want to make this for you as long as you'll have us and they will let us have you. I promise I will do my very best to never let you go one minute of one day without knowing how loved you are, how special you are, how deserving you are of a good life. You've been through more in your short time, Baby Bird, than most will go through in their entire lives, and that's okay, because that will make you strong. It will make you appreciate life, and you will be better for it, because people like your FD and others like us will make sure of it. We will make sure you know how lucky you are, how precious life is, and how to be a good person and make the most of it. You will have to be patient with me, Birdie, because you see, I've never been a mommy before, but that doesn't mean I won't do my very best while I have you. I will make your life as easy and wonderful as I can, because you deserve it. You deserve peace and happiness and joy and you will have those things.
I can't wait for you to meet your 'family' here! You will know so many new and neat people and they will all love you and help take care of you too. You will meet Gamma Ward and Gigi and Poppa Johnson. They are very excited to get to know you as well. You will also meet lots of new friends who are like family to us as well. They can be odd, but they are fun and they will think the world of you.
I don't know you yet, Bird, but I know you are out there, and you are waiting for us just as we are waiting for you. I am praying for you. I am praying for your safety, your health, your family. I don't know what will bring you to us, but we will get through it together. I don't know how many of you there will be or how long we will have each one of you, but we will never forget every situation is different, and that you are special and we will treat you as such. We will do our best not to make assumptions because of things we've heard or because of those that may come before you. We will take each day as it comes. Good or bad. We will take each situation one at a time. We will do what is best for you to the best of our ability. We don't know how long you will be with us, be it weeks or years, but never the less you will be apart of our family and you will always have us to lean on.
I'm looking forward to meeting you, my sweet Birdie!
Friday, January 13
First Step
I got our foster family application in today. My stomach was full of butterflies then it felt like the butterflies turned to rocks as I read it. It asked a lot about our religion and where we go to church. I am not a religious person in the slightest. I enjoy the fellowship of church and I enjoy hearing the preacher's take on the Bible, but I don't build my life around it. I am however a very spiritual person, and I build my life around the teachings of Jesus Christ. Loving others, being a good person, putting needs of those around me before my own, never turning away a person in need, helping in anyway and every way I can, giving of myself. That is my religion. That's hard to put down on a piece of paper. I know that's not what they are looking for. I know they are looking for "Lauryn Johnson- Baptist, Eulation First Baptist", but I can't be defined on one line like that. They are asking about Randy's religious beliefs as well. He was brought up Church of Christ, but he no longer attends church. Not because he has anything against it, but he works every Sunday, and if he's not working he's sleeping. We are good people. We are loving people. We would be an attribute to their program, but what if these details of our personal life aren't good enough for them.
The letter says to expect the process to take up to 6 months for interviews and home studies to be completed but they try to expedite the wait to make it as short as they can.
We are choosing ages 0-4. I think it will be a great age range for us. I am also choosing to accept a boy or a girl. I am completely open. If a child needs me, I'll be there.
Thursday, January 12
Day 3- Nails on a chalk board
Day 3- Your top 5 pet peeves
Oooh.... this one is fun! In no particular order, 5 things that drive me up the wall:
Chronic Coughing/Sneezing- OH my word. If I'm around someone and they won't stop continuing to cough or sneeze it drives me crazy! I've literally told Ran to shut up or go into another room. How the heck am I going to handle a kid, right? LOL! I can't help it. The noise grates my nerves, it's the oddest thing.
Slow drivers- Okay, I'm a speeder. I admit it. It's not a good thing to be, but I don't enjoy spending my time in a car. People who go 5 or more miles UNDER the speed limit that are driving in front of me have no idea the things being screamed at them from my car.
Overly (and unnecessarily) hostile people- Lewis Black. Nuff said.
The 'N' word and other aggressive language- I'm not into racism. It's sucks.
Thrift Stores that forget they get their stuff for free so they mark it up to what you can by it in the store for- Oxford. Yep.
I'm sure there are other things, but really I had a hard time coming up with a list. Are all these things considered pet peeves? What are your pet peeves?
Oooh.... this one is fun! In no particular order, 5 things that drive me up the wall:
Chronic Coughing/Sneezing- OH my word. If I'm around someone and they won't stop continuing to cough or sneeze it drives me crazy! I've literally told Ran to shut up or go into another room. How the heck am I going to handle a kid, right? LOL! I can't help it. The noise grates my nerves, it's the oddest thing.
Slow drivers- Okay, I'm a speeder. I admit it. It's not a good thing to be, but I don't enjoy spending my time in a car. People who go 5 or more miles UNDER the speed limit that are driving in front of me have no idea the things being screamed at them from my car.
Overly (and unnecessarily) hostile people- Lewis Black. Nuff said.
The 'N' word and other aggressive language- I'm not into racism. It's sucks.
Thrift Stores that forget they get their stuff for free so they mark it up to what you can by it in the store for- Oxford. Yep.
I'm sure there are other things, but really I had a hard time coming up with a list. Are all these things considered pet peeves? What are your pet peeves?
Support
Wow. There was such an overwhelming response to our announcement on FB today. I had to keep them so I would never forget!
I was up til 4 am making a list. A list of all these things that have to get done within the next 2 weeks, because on January 23, Randy and I start our foster care classes with the Alabama Baptist Children's home, and on January 31st we have our first home walk through (that was what the phone call was about yesterday). I'm asking for so many prayers. The house is a long way from finished, but I really think we can do it, because I think this is where I'm suppose to be. I think this is the path I'm meant for, God has only been waiting on me to start walking it. I'm going to be selling off a ton of stuff, please open your hearts and see if there is anything you may like to have. Everything will go to our "foster fund", getting the house ready and the supplies needed to create a space perfect for a child birth-5 years. Anyone who has been through this, please message me. Stories, tips, what to expect, anything would help. Most importantly, pray. Everything has lined up perfectly for this to happen, we only have a little work to push it the rest of the way.
Kristina Shetter, Star Saly and 30 others like this.
Tara Lynne Lingle I am so excited for you!!! Judith Blankenship Thompson is a social worker who used to do in home stuff for foster parents, you know!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Andy Shelton This rocks. I was SO happy when you told me about this. If there's anything I can do to help get the house ready, or anything at all you guys know where I'm at. Also, I'm totally calling dibs on family portraits. Facebook keeps everything, so that ish is on record! :)
I know both of ya'll would totally rock this out! You deserve this chance, and there's a child right now that deserves you guys. I know the pieces of that puzzle will fall into place. :)
9 hours ago · Unlike · 3
Brook Haywood Owen Funny story! The first walk thru we had was 2 weeks before our son was to be born. We had ripped out the floors and toilets in our renovation. The SW joked about having to use a 5 gal bucket in the yard because we had no toilets working! Luckily, it was just for 2 days, but oh,my! COuld the timing have been worse? THe visit went well, and 2 weeks later we welcomed our little man home. The next home visit, the SW got to meet him - he was 3 months old. God bless, my friend, in this new journey! Sending prayers and love your way!
9 hours ago · Like
Lauryn Brook Johnson Andy, you just made me cry! Hopefully in 11-12 weeks time we'll be dragging a muchkin to Wake and Bake Wednesdays. I'm so very lucky, no whatever child is placed with us, is so very lucky that I have an amazing group of friends that it will be around!
And yes, we will need help! I have house projects on my list!!! LOL!
9 hours ago · Like
Lauryn Brook Johnson Brook..... ripping out the flooring in the bathroom is actually on my list for the next 2 weeks! HA! Maybe I'll wait until after the first! I'll have a lot more time on the other side of the first walk through!
9 hours ago · Like
Kristina Brown That's awesome Lauryn!!! Congratulations and good luck with everything : )
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Rachel Belk Pearson Yay!!! Congrats!! If you need any help with the room, just let me know! I love that kind of stuff.
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Andy Shelton Hey, now, don't go crying. I don't handle girls crying well at all.
Seriously though, just let me know what ya'll wanna do and we'll get it done. I'm sure Joel would be down as well...;) (hows that for putting someone on the spot?) lol.
9 hours ago · Like
April List Oh Lauryn! You are such an amazing girl! I wish you the best and I'm keeping fingers crossed and prayers going up!
9 hours ago · Like
Samantha LeAnn Tibbs This is vrry exciting. I'll keep you two in my prayers. I was a foster child and adopted so this always touches my heart.
9 hours ago via mobile · Like
Rachel Belk Pearson oh yeah...CONVERTIBLE CRIB!!! It can be a crib, a toddler bed, or a "big kid" bed. One price, three beds!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Lauryn Brook Johnson Yes, Rach! We're looking for a convertible crib and a dresser that can be a changing table!
Samantha, I didn't know that about you! That is amazing!
9 hours ago · Like
Kristin Bryan Wow! That is wonderful!
9 hours ago · Like
Emmalie Ponder Whitney You are welcome to come shopping at my house. I have a ton of baby and kid stuff that we aren't using anymore. I'm going to be doing a big clean out day on Saturday so maybe you can come by Sunday afternoon and see what all I have!! Congratulations and good luck!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Lauryn Brook Johnson That you so much, Em!! That would help so much!
9 hours ago · Like
Darla Hurst Wegner Prayers are goin up sweetie!!! Be blessed baby grl!
9 hours ago · Like
Jessica Spires If you need any clothing, toys, or blankets, let me know!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Catherine Smith-walker Wow wow wow wow wow!!!!!
9 hours ago · Like
Stephanie Lindley Prayers Prayers Prayer!!!
9 hours ago · Like
Krystina Dean Stuart splendid, sweet friend! Praying!
8 hours ago · Like
Heather Sutton congrats....big prayers ur way :)
8 hours ago · Like
Robin Otts Rollins Praying for you!
6 hours ago · Like
Kirby Bowman Praying for you girl!! If there is anything I can do to help just call :) maybe we'll be setting up play dates soon :)
6 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Joel Price Yeah, I got a hammer and a back hoe!! Ain't nothing to hard!!!
6 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Lauryn Brook Johnson That's why you and Andy Shelton are my 2 favorite boys in the world other than my husband and my dogs! lol
6 hours ago · Like · 1
Katie Frost Such AWESOME, INCREDIBLE news! I will be praying :)
5 hours ago · Like
Samantha Robertson I'm happy for you girl. While I think having a kid is complete nutso, lol, I know its something you've wanted for a while. Keep me updated...
4 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Kristina Shetter AGH! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THIS SO MUCH OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There truly is not enough textual excitement in the world to express how happy this makes me. I think you are doing a WONDERFUL thing and I hope that God uses this to bless you (I know he will!) in IMMEASURABLE ways!!!!!!
I was up til 4 am making a list. A list of all these things that have to get done within the next 2 weeks, because on January 23, Randy and I start our foster care classes with the Alabama Baptist Children's home, and on January 31st we have our first home walk through (that was what the phone call was about yesterday). I'm asking for so many prayers. The house is a long way from finished, but I really think we can do it, because I think this is where I'm suppose to be. I think this is the path I'm meant for, God has only been waiting on me to start walking it. I'm going to be selling off a ton of stuff, please open your hearts and see if there is anything you may like to have. Everything will go to our "foster fund", getting the house ready and the supplies needed to create a space perfect for a child birth-5 years. Anyone who has been through this, please message me. Stories, tips, what to expect, anything would help. Most importantly, pray. Everything has lined up perfectly for this to happen, we only have a little work to push it the rest of the way.
Kristina Shetter, Star Saly and 30 others like this.
Tara Lynne Lingle I am so excited for you!!! Judith Blankenship Thompson is a social worker who used to do in home stuff for foster parents, you know!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Andy Shelton This rocks. I was SO happy when you told me about this. If there's anything I can do to help get the house ready, or anything at all you guys know where I'm at. Also, I'm totally calling dibs on family portraits. Facebook keeps everything, so that ish is on record! :)
I know both of ya'll would totally rock this out! You deserve this chance, and there's a child right now that deserves you guys. I know the pieces of that puzzle will fall into place. :)
9 hours ago · Unlike · 3
Brook Haywood Owen Funny story! The first walk thru we had was 2 weeks before our son was to be born. We had ripped out the floors and toilets in our renovation. The SW joked about having to use a 5 gal bucket in the yard because we had no toilets working! Luckily, it was just for 2 days, but oh,my! COuld the timing have been worse? THe visit went well, and 2 weeks later we welcomed our little man home. The next home visit, the SW got to meet him - he was 3 months old. God bless, my friend, in this new journey! Sending prayers and love your way!
9 hours ago · Like
Lauryn Brook Johnson Andy, you just made me cry! Hopefully in 11-12 weeks time we'll be dragging a muchkin to Wake and Bake Wednesdays. I'm so very lucky, no whatever child is placed with us, is so very lucky that I have an amazing group of friends that it will be around!
And yes, we will need help! I have house projects on my list!!! LOL!
9 hours ago · Like
Lauryn Brook Johnson Brook..... ripping out the flooring in the bathroom is actually on my list for the next 2 weeks! HA! Maybe I'll wait until after the first! I'll have a lot more time on the other side of the first walk through!
9 hours ago · Like
Kristina Brown That's awesome Lauryn!!! Congratulations and good luck with everything : )
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Rachel Belk Pearson Yay!!! Congrats!! If you need any help with the room, just let me know! I love that kind of stuff.
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Andy Shelton Hey, now, don't go crying. I don't handle girls crying well at all.
Seriously though, just let me know what ya'll wanna do and we'll get it done. I'm sure Joel would be down as well...;) (hows that for putting someone on the spot?) lol.
9 hours ago · Like
April List Oh Lauryn! You are such an amazing girl! I wish you the best and I'm keeping fingers crossed and prayers going up!
9 hours ago · Like
Samantha LeAnn Tibbs This is vrry exciting. I'll keep you two in my prayers. I was a foster child and adopted so this always touches my heart.
9 hours ago via mobile · Like
Rachel Belk Pearson oh yeah...CONVERTIBLE CRIB!!! It can be a crib, a toddler bed, or a "big kid" bed. One price, three beds!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Lauryn Brook Johnson Yes, Rach! We're looking for a convertible crib and a dresser that can be a changing table!
Samantha, I didn't know that about you! That is amazing!
9 hours ago · Like
Kristin Bryan Wow! That is wonderful!
9 hours ago · Like
Emmalie Ponder Whitney You are welcome to come shopping at my house. I have a ton of baby and kid stuff that we aren't using anymore. I'm going to be doing a big clean out day on Saturday so maybe you can come by Sunday afternoon and see what all I have!! Congratulations and good luck!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Lauryn Brook Johnson That you so much, Em!! That would help so much!
9 hours ago · Like
Darla Hurst Wegner Prayers are goin up sweetie!!! Be blessed baby grl!
9 hours ago · Like
Jessica Spires If you need any clothing, toys, or blankets, let me know!
9 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Catherine Smith-walker Wow wow wow wow wow!!!!!
9 hours ago · Like
Stephanie Lindley Prayers Prayers Prayer!!!
9 hours ago · Like
Krystina Dean Stuart splendid, sweet friend! Praying!
8 hours ago · Like
Heather Sutton congrats....big prayers ur way :)
8 hours ago · Like
Robin Otts Rollins Praying for you!
6 hours ago · Like
Kirby Bowman Praying for you girl!! If there is anything I can do to help just call :) maybe we'll be setting up play dates soon :)
6 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Joel Price Yeah, I got a hammer and a back hoe!! Ain't nothing to hard!!!
6 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Lauryn Brook Johnson That's why you and Andy Shelton are my 2 favorite boys in the world other than my husband and my dogs! lol
6 hours ago · Like · 1
Katie Frost Such AWESOME, INCREDIBLE news! I will be praying :)
5 hours ago · Like
Samantha Robertson I'm happy for you girl. While I think having a kid is complete nutso, lol, I know its something you've wanted for a while. Keep me updated...
4 hours ago · Unlike · 1
Kristina Shetter AGH! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THIS SO MUCH OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There truly is not enough textual excitement in the world to express how happy this makes me. I think you are doing a WONDERFUL thing and I hope that God uses this to bless you (I know he will!) in IMMEASURABLE ways!!!!!!
Announcement!
I've got 2 days to catch up on with my 30 blog challenge, I know, but I'll get to it! There has been too many things to get done at Casa Del Johnson! We just got the call yesterday from the Alabama Baptist Children's Home letting us know that we'll be starting our foster care classes on January 23rd and our first home walk through on January 31st! We'll be doing 10 weeks of classes then certifications and hopefully soon after we'll be adding a new munchkin to our family!
There is so much for us to get done in the house! Namely get my office cleaned out and start getting it ready for a child age 0-5. I’ll be selling a lot of stuff and I’ll be throwing away a lot. It needs to be done anyway, we’ll just be doing it express! I was up at 4 this morning making lists of things that needed to get done and things that need to be bought. I’m going to try to do some ‘foster fundraising’ with Olive Photos to try to help with some of the cost. We’ve been very encouraged by friends. Everyone has been so supportive and fabulous! It has really warmed my heart and help some of these butterflies. This is going to be a very big adventure, and I’m so blessed to know that what ever children enter our home are going to have some amazing people to be around! They are going to be some very lucky kids!
I don't want anyone taking this as us no longer trying to biologically have a child. We will still, as we have the last 19 months, do what we thing is best as far as extending our family. I believe there are bigger pictures. Bigger purposes for our lives. I think this is my bigger purpose. I've always said I knew my purpose in life was to be a mother, I just never realized it may not be in the traditional sense. I may be a mother to many. To several who needed a mother where there wouldn't be one otherwise. I'm willing to accept that challenge and be the best at it I can be. I'm looking forward to starting this journey but I'm terrified at the same time. I know this is no easy undertaking. I understand that the children I will encounter will be coming from less than ideal circumstances. I understand that I could pick up a baby from the hospital that has been beaten and burned and abused and I may get a call telling me it's going back to it's parents. But I also understand, that while those children are in my care, in my home, they will be safe. They will be loved, cared for, fed, bathed, and enjoyed and if they have that short time where they can get that, then it will be worth it all to give it to them. I may never wear maternity clothes, but that doesn't mean I will never be a mother.
Mark 9:37 "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me..."
There is so much for us to get done in the house! Namely get my office cleaned out and start getting it ready for a child age 0-5. I’ll be selling a lot of stuff and I’ll be throwing away a lot. It needs to be done anyway, we’ll just be doing it express! I was up at 4 this morning making lists of things that needed to get done and things that need to be bought. I’m going to try to do some ‘foster fundraising’ with Olive Photos to try to help with some of the cost. We’ve been very encouraged by friends. Everyone has been so supportive and fabulous! It has really warmed my heart and help some of these butterflies. This is going to be a very big adventure, and I’m so blessed to know that what ever children enter our home are going to have some amazing people to be around! They are going to be some very lucky kids!
I don't want anyone taking this as us no longer trying to biologically have a child. We will still, as we have the last 19 months, do what we thing is best as far as extending our family. I believe there are bigger pictures. Bigger purposes for our lives. I think this is my bigger purpose. I've always said I knew my purpose in life was to be a mother, I just never realized it may not be in the traditional sense. I may be a mother to many. To several who needed a mother where there wouldn't be one otherwise. I'm willing to accept that challenge and be the best at it I can be. I'm looking forward to starting this journey but I'm terrified at the same time. I know this is no easy undertaking. I understand that the children I will encounter will be coming from less than ideal circumstances. I understand that I could pick up a baby from the hospital that has been beaten and burned and abused and I may get a call telling me it's going back to it's parents. But I also understand, that while those children are in my care, in my home, they will be safe. They will be loved, cared for, fed, bathed, and enjoyed and if they have that short time where they can get that, then it will be worth it all to give it to them. I may never wear maternity clothes, but that doesn't mean I will never be a mother.
Mark 9:37 "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me..."
Tuesday, January 10
Day 2- When I grow up
Day 2- Where would you like to be in 10 years?
What a loaded question. Let's see. I want to be a successful wedding and portrait photographer. I want to have 12 years under my belt and be traveling all over the southeast doing what I love to do. I want to be able to support my family fully with a job I absolutely adore.
I want still be happily married to the same man I'm happily married to right now. Not that I'm expecting not to be, but I know important things like marriage take work, and that is something in the next 10 years I'm committed to do. Work on my marriage. Be happier then that I am now, and continue that every year.
I want to have changed someone's life for the better. I want to, everyday, speak kind words, never be stingy with my smiles, hug as much as I can. I want be the person people go to. I want to love and be loved in return.
More than anything, I want to see myself as a mother in 10 years. Not just a mother, but a good one. One who supports her children in their decisions, who raises them to be good, productive members of society, who teaches them how to love. That is, and has always been my ultimate goal. My 1# 'what I want to be when I grow up". To most people becoming a mother is a simple thing. A missed birth control pill, a simple decision to start 'trying'. For me, it has been a constant 19 month long uphill battle with no end in sight. I know, that day, the day the 2 pink lines show up, the day my baby takes it's first breath, and every day after, my life will be changed for the magnificent.
I suppose my ultimate goal, where I want to be 10 years from today, is happy. I just want to be happy. No matter what that means, no matter what I have to do to get there, I just want my life to be wonderful. Magical. Extraordinary. Everything it deserves to be. I only have one. I should make the best of it.
What a loaded question. Let's see. I want to be a successful wedding and portrait photographer. I want to have 12 years under my belt and be traveling all over the southeast doing what I love to do. I want to be able to support my family fully with a job I absolutely adore.
I want still be happily married to the same man I'm happily married to right now. Not that I'm expecting not to be, but I know important things like marriage take work, and that is something in the next 10 years I'm committed to do. Work on my marriage. Be happier then that I am now, and continue that every year.
I want to have changed someone's life for the better. I want to, everyday, speak kind words, never be stingy with my smiles, hug as much as I can. I want be the person people go to. I want to love and be loved in return.
More than anything, I want to see myself as a mother in 10 years. Not just a mother, but a good one. One who supports her children in their decisions, who raises them to be good, productive members of society, who teaches them how to love. That is, and has always been my ultimate goal. My 1# 'what I want to be when I grow up". To most people becoming a mother is a simple thing. A missed birth control pill, a simple decision to start 'trying'. For me, it has been a constant 19 month long uphill battle with no end in sight. I know, that day, the day the 2 pink lines show up, the day my baby takes it's first breath, and every day after, my life will be changed for the magnificent.
I suppose my ultimate goal, where I want to be 10 years from today, is happy. I just want to be happy. No matter what that means, no matter what I have to do to get there, I just want my life to be wonderful. Magical. Extraordinary. Everything it deserves to be. I only have one. I should make the best of it.
Monday, January 9
Day 1- I wanna hold your hand
1: Your current relationship, if single discuss.
Well I am certainly not single. Ha! I haven't been for nearly 7 years now. Not that I would ever want to be again. Dating seems tiresome, and I love the comfort of my husband. I see a quote all the time on Facebook "He may not be perfect, but he's perfect for you." Well that's the God's honest truth. Randy Johnson is far from perfect, and I remind him of that much more than I should, but he is everything to me. I am crazy. Yes. I said it. I. Am. Crazy. I worry, I stress, I get frustrated over the smallest things, I cry more than a normal human being ever should, my moods literally throw themselves from one extreme to the other. I'm a basket case 80% of the time, but that boy, for some reason unknown to me, is crazy about me, and he PUTS UP with my crazy! Not even because he has to, but he actually LIKES being around me. That amazes me. He makes me feel like a better person. He makes me want to be a better person. He loves me, and I absolutely adore him.
There are days where we are at each others throats. I worry about his safety sometimes. There are days when my crazy finally gets the best of him and he looses his patience with me. We have our downs, but our ups are so so worth every down. We play. We love to play. We love to be silly. We giggle. We laugh. We enjoy each other. He chases me around the house. We slow dance to no music in the kitchen. Although I don't understand it, there is something magic about the two of us. He is my missing piece.
He is my rock. My calm. I am more thankful for him than he'll ever know. I wrote this during our wedding planning process and I mean it more so today than I did 2 years ago.
"I'm ready. Not without fear, but without reservations. I'm ready to walk down the isle. I'm ready to finally, after nearly 5 years, be his wife. He is my best friend. He has been my number one supporter. He has held my hand through my darkest days, and he's been waiting on the other side when I finally find the light again. I know that he is the one set aside for me. I know when I was born, when I was raised, when I grew up, with every choice that I made, and every choice that was made for me, it was all for him. It was all to end up here, at the end of an isle, saying I do, to the one person that was meant to hold my hand for the rest of my life since day one."
Well I am certainly not single. Ha! I haven't been for nearly 7 years now. Not that I would ever want to be again. Dating seems tiresome, and I love the comfort of my husband. I see a quote all the time on Facebook "He may not be perfect, but he's perfect for you." Well that's the God's honest truth. Randy Johnson is far from perfect, and I remind him of that much more than I should, but he is everything to me. I am crazy. Yes. I said it. I. Am. Crazy. I worry, I stress, I get frustrated over the smallest things, I cry more than a normal human being ever should, my moods literally throw themselves from one extreme to the other. I'm a basket case 80% of the time, but that boy, for some reason unknown to me, is crazy about me, and he PUTS UP with my crazy! Not even because he has to, but he actually LIKES being around me. That amazes me. He makes me feel like a better person. He makes me want to be a better person. He loves me, and I absolutely adore him.
There are days where we are at each others throats. I worry about his safety sometimes. There are days when my crazy finally gets the best of him and he looses his patience with me. We have our downs, but our ups are so so worth every down. We play. We love to play. We love to be silly. We giggle. We laugh. We enjoy each other. He chases me around the house. We slow dance to no music in the kitchen. Although I don't understand it, there is something magic about the two of us. He is my missing piece.
He is my rock. My calm. I am more thankful for him than he'll ever know. I wrote this during our wedding planning process and I mean it more so today than I did 2 years ago.
"I'm ready. Not without fear, but without reservations. I'm ready to walk down the isle. I'm ready to finally, after nearly 5 years, be his wife. He is my best friend. He has been my number one supporter. He has held my hand through my darkest days, and he's been waiting on the other side when I finally find the light again. I know that he is the one set aside for me. I know when I was born, when I was raised, when I grew up, with every choice that I made, and every choice that was made for me, it was all for him. It was all to end up here, at the end of an isle, saying I do, to the one person that was meant to hold my hand for the rest of my life since day one."
Sunday, January 8
30 day challenge
Shall we get this party started in a brand new year? One of my (many) new years resolutions was to blog more. I know years from now I'll be thankful for it. I've heard it said it takes 28 days to form a habit so I'm doing a 30 day blog challenge to kick this off. I'm not the best with sticking with things, and I honestly don't think I'll make it all the way through without missing a day here and there, but I will eventually get all 30 things answered, and in the grand scheme of things, isn't that what's most important?
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