This has been such a week of up and downs. I woke up the day after Thanksgiving to welcome month 18 with not so open arms. 18 months. I just can't believe it. A year and a half. We've offically been trying to have a baby for a year and a half. Not one step closer to that goal than we were on day one. It hurts. It really does. My arms ache, my heart aches, I ache. It's something I can't explain, the words aren't there. It's an emptyness. A hole that nothing can fill. The knowlege that that hole may never been filled. I don't think it could be understood by anyone unless they've been through it, and that isn't something I'd wish on anyone.

Photo Blog!

So if you keep up with my blog at all you know that I don't post anything for a while then I blow up blogger in one night catching up on everything. It's just my style I suppose. I would love to blog every single day like my dear friend Katie, but alas I'd much rather waste my precious time on Facebook. Tonight I'd like to show off some fabulous photos of my love and I taken by my dear friends Joel and Andy! We had a fabulous flash lesson after one of our Gadsden Area Photographers meetings. So without further ado, yours truly and my hottie of a hubby!

And I can't forget about my two favorite camera carrying guys, Joel and Andy!

And the always fabulous Leah!



And here's one just to make you giggle!

Month of Thankfulness- Day 1

Today marked the first day of November therefore the most thankful month of the year. Fall is a fairly rough time for me and I feel like posting everyday for the next 30 days one thing I'm thankful for will help bring my mood up and challenge me on days I'm not feeling so great about things. Of course this should be something I do all the time not just one month a year, but every journey starts with one step.


Day 1- Today I'm thankful for my mom and her never ending patience and love for me. I know she thinks it often goes unnoticed, but it never does. Even though we don't see eye to eye on most things, she is still the woman I look up to and will always come to for advice and when I just need to talk. She is my definition of strength and I don't tell her that nearly enough. She's been through more than a woman should ever have to, but I hope she knows how beautiful she has come out on the other side. I love you, Nancey Ward. I'm thankful that you are you.

Halloween Round up!

We've had a lot of fun the past few weeks leading up to Randy's favorite holiday of the year! Halloween! I'm not a huge fan of the holiday, simply because I'm a huge wimp, but he just lights up at the signs of orange lights, pumpkins, and dead things hanging from store windows and that makes me glad for him. If I could get rid of every guy in a Micheal Myers mask and the countless number of people who like to jump out and scream and all those other things that send my nerves over the edge, I would enjoy this 'preholiday' (in my book anyway) much much more! We actually had 3 big Halloween events this year and that is 2 more than I usually do! :)

First we went to a Witches Ball in Birmingham with Kelly and good times were had all around. Randy and Kelly more so than me, but it was fun. Randy had on creepy zombie makeup and I was my usual cute self, only this time dressed as a bar maid. It didn't suit my personality (or my chest for that matter) but I pulled it off. Kelly won the ladies costumed contest in her Fangtasia outfit and her sister Stephanie and her husband Corey won the couples contest as Shrek and Fiona. A-dorable! We're trying to think up a big group costume next year to rakeup some more wins, but so far we can't agree on much. We'll see how it ends up going.

2nd on our list of Hallween hububs was the 2nd Annual Zombie Walk (and Pub Crawl) on Noble St. Randy doned his Zombie outfit once more, but I didn't go to dress up. I was actually one of 3 event photographers. I think I enjoyed it way more behind the lens! I got a chance to play with my 50mm and I must say, once you learn how to use it... WOW! I'm in LOVE! A HUGE thanks to my dear fellow photog friends Andy and Joel who were the other 2 event photographers and helped me to get some of my best shots yet! They both rock so hard and I am thrilled to count them in my group of friends!
We had a great time at the Walk (other than Randy getting a bit too tipsy and embarrasing the snot out of me) and I got some GREAT photos!



The night before Halloween we had our 2nd Annual Johnson Halloween party at our house. It is by far my FAVORITE part of the holiday! The year really. I love getting our friends over for parties at our place. Nothing went as planned as usual, but we had fun never the less. The food was awesome and I ate way too much as usual. Taylor by far won best (and creepiest) costume of the night. His devil scared the pants off poor Rachel Berry (Heather). Sam was also a devil, but of a much cuter kind! Rachel was a hottie totty in her gyspy outfit and Erica and Lindsay were a fairy and a pirate! Adreon and Adam joined us this year as poor broke parents (LOL!) and Anthony was Finn! I wore my bar maid outfit (the other one, oh yeah, 2 different bar maid outfits, clever huh? Does it make it ironic that I don't drink?) and Randy was a ghost (who looked more like a feminine product). We had a great time, broke an Xbox, ate a ton, and watched Zombieland. All and all it was a great night!

Last but certainly not least, I had my first mark. party and I must say it was a blast! It was at the always yummy Pink Dessert Bar here in town and while it was (very) expensive it was SOOO good! I got to meet my new cyber friend Katie in person and that was fabulous! It felt like we've known each other for years. When you meet someone and they are a perfect fit to you, you just know. Katie has her own blog called Hems for Her (http://hemsforher.blogspot.com/2011/10/weekend-rake-up.html) and it has been a daily read for me since I found it! She's such an ispiration (and self coined FATshanista!) and I love keeping up with her daily outfits! She makes me want to get out of my tshirt and jeans (or yoga pants if I'm feeling lazy. lol) rut inspite of not always feeling the greatest about my body. It is what it is and I can rock it no matter what size I am. Check out this adorable photo of us! I must say we were both looking quite awesome that night! <3